I don’t normally talk on my blog about movies, because I see so darn few, what with the kids being in tow with me all the time. But I have to talk about “Warm Bodies,” because I am frustrated and need to get it out of my system.

I really wanted to like “Warm Bodies.” No, I didn’t want to like it. I wanted to squeal at it, and develop a weird little creepy crush on it, and make it mix tapes, and write fanfiction about it and ultimately be told that I had a problem. I wanted fantasy fuel. It had to ROCK. And it just didn’t. It was like the hot person who seemed really awesome but turned out to be vapid and annoying once you got to know them. Sigh; so disappointing, not just because of what they were lacking, but what they could have been.

This is perhaps the most frustrating kind of story for me, because I COULD HAVE FIXED IT DAMMIT. “Green Lantern” hit me this way, as well. These movies stay with me a long time as I fume over the problems and how it would have been EASY to make them one or three steps better. In the case of “Warm Bodies,” it was that it never took any of the three genre elements far enough. It’s hard to balance horror, romance and comedy, but a misfire might have been better than the lackluster result that came from just telling the story straight. It had no moments that were genuinely terrifying, few moments that were really touching, and a handful that were truly funny. I think it needed the horror to make the other elements shine.

The big thing was, we as the audience were never afraid of R, the main zombie, and we should have been. We should have made the journey with the girl from terror, to reluctant trust, to loyalty, to love. THAT would have been a journey worth taking.

We write the books we want to read because they don’t exist yet. Which means, dang it, now I want to write a zombie romance novel. SO I CAN FIX IT. >.<

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